In which I begin the cult of SUPERION
The farthest wall of the toy aisle at Big Lots, across from the place where a unwanted Polly Pockets go to die, is filled with the typical fare: cheap knockoffs of name-brand trend toys, guaranteed to bring disappointment to children who hoped against hope for something that wouldn't elicit mockery from the other kids.
I was there looking for obscure Halloween candy*, and as is tradition, I did a quick check of the toy "department" to see what unintentionally hilarious junk is being marketed to the nation's thrifty grandmothers.
But. But! Amongst the unrecognizable Mega Force Shining Excellion Battle Robot wannabes lie an assortment of what they're calling "Quick Change Robot Fighters".
I know better. That right there is an honest to God G1 Devastator**, just like the rich kids had back when I was growing up.
...well, kinda. It seems that some unnamed Chinese manufacturer bought up some of the original G1 Transformers molds and began shipping out cut-rate reprints. Big Lots' stock currently includes a few a few pre-packed Combiner sets (I found Aircraft, Fire Rescue, and Construction - if anyone finds something like Military, let me know.), as well as a few single- and double-packs, and what appears to be an angry ape's head on a robot body***.
In their current state, they are but crude effigies of the godheads which I worshiped as a child. The colors aren't quite right, the workmanship is shoddy even by the less-than-stellar standards of the 1980s, the decals are laughable, and I'm not making any promises about the toxicity of the materials involved, but by God, I finally can finish building Superion****, and for the princely sum of eight American dollars, so can every nostalgic nerd on your holiday shopping list.
You wanna get your PC fixed for free in 2009? Go buy an armload of these (but make sure to get the right ones!) and pass them out come Christmas.
...I'm such a nerd sometimes. God help me.
----
* For myself. If your kids want candy, tell them to get a job. Buncha freeloaders.
** Okay, I'm pretending to not know what Optimus Primal is here. Leave me a little dignity!
*** Actually, the above picture is a miniature version of Devastator. That's right - someone made an authentic Devastator Jr. How awesome is that.
**** He who is as five planes lying dormant, yet one. Ten turbojets has he, yet he stands as a man. Blasted be thy name.
I was there looking for obscure Halloween candy*, and as is tradition, I did a quick check of the toy "department" to see what unintentionally hilarious junk is being marketed to the nation's thrifty grandmothers.
But. But! Amongst the unrecognizable Mega Force Shining Excellion Battle Robot wannabes lie an assortment of what they're calling "Quick Change Robot Fighters".
I know better. That right there is an honest to God G1 Devastator**, just like the rich kids had back when I was growing up.
...well, kinda. It seems that some unnamed Chinese manufacturer bought up some of the original G1 Transformers molds and began shipping out cut-rate reprints. Big Lots' stock currently includes a few a few pre-packed Combiner sets (I found Aircraft, Fire Rescue, and Construction - if anyone finds something like Military, let me know.), as well as a few single- and double-packs, and what appears to be an angry ape's head on a robot body***.
In their current state, they are but crude effigies of the godheads which I worshiped as a child. The colors aren't quite right, the workmanship is shoddy even by the less-than-stellar standards of the 1980s, the decals are laughable, and I'm not making any promises about the toxicity of the materials involved, but by God, I finally can finish building Superion****, and for the princely sum of eight American dollars, so can every nostalgic nerd on your holiday shopping list.
You wanna get your PC fixed for free in 2009? Go buy an armload of these (but make sure to get the right ones!) and pass them out come Christmas.
...I'm such a nerd sometimes. God help me.
----
* For myself. If your kids want candy, tell them to get a job. Buncha freeloaders.
** Okay, I'm pretending to not know what Optimus Primal is here. Leave me a little dignity!
*** Actually, the above picture is a miniature version of Devastator. That's right - someone made an authentic Devastator Jr. How awesome is that.
**** He who is as five planes lying dormant, yet one. Ten turbojets has he, yet he stands as a man. Blasted be thy name.
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