So the holiday season is upon us again, and with it the inevitable attempt to find something suitable and affordable for that weird nerdy cousin of yours that never comes out of his room during your family's Christmas party because he might "miss his scheduled raid slot for Molten Core", whatever the hell that means.
Fear not, loyal reader! I'm here to help you find what you're looking for without having to go through all that troublesome thinking. Game developers are just as cash-strapped as you in these unfortunate times - let me help you make their loss your gain! Below I've listed the cream of the crop of 2009's choices for gaming on a shoestring budget. You're welcome.
(Note that despite this post's title, I'm not including pricing information here. Retailers are all equally horrible in their unique little ways*, so I'm remaining neutral as far as that goes. All I will offer you here is a heartfelt "Happy Hunting!" and my promise that each entry satisfies my requirements**.)
Fear not, loyal reader! I'm here to help you find what you're looking for without having to go through all that troublesome thinking. Game developers are just as cash-strapped as you in these unfortunate times - let me help you make their loss your gain! Below I've listed the cream of the crop of 2009's choices for gaming on a shoestring budget. You're welcome.
(Note that despite this post's title, I'm not including pricing information here. Retailers are all equally horrible in their unique little ways*, so I'm remaining neutral as far as that goes. All I will offer you here is a heartfelt "Happy Hunting!" and my promise that each entry satisfies my requirements**.)
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WORLD OF GOO: Technically a late 2008 entry, World of Goo is a physics-heavy building puzzler that looks and acts like it really wants its film rights optioned by Tim Burton. Weird little semi-sentient blobs of jelly want only for freedom, and it's your job to use them to build towers, bridges, and whatever lattice-work structures you can think of to get the poor things from point A to point B. (multiplatform)
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PUZZLE KINGDOMS: Forget Galactrix - Puzzle Kingdoms is the real sequel to Puzzle Quest. From bigger maps to bigger battles to bigger armies, Puzzle Kingdoms does what Galactrix didn't - it takes the Puzzle Quest formula to the next level without, you know, totally breaking it. (Nintendo DS, Wii)
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SHADOW COMPLEX: Okay, so Orson Scott Card wrote this speculative fiction novel called Empire about a Presidential assassination and the ensuing civil war between the Glennbeckians and the Pelosese Liberation Front, and...you know what? That part doesn't really matter. Shadow Complex is a modern-day Metroidvania with just a hint of Metal Gear thrown in to spice things up. (XBLA)
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HENRY HATSWORTH in THE PUZZLING ADVENTURE: Sorry, Professor Layton, but Henry Hatsworth wins 2009's coveted "Best Hackneyed British Stereotype" award. Switch back and forth between a Mario-style platformer and a lightweight block-sliding puzzle at will, with progress in one side affecting advancement in the other.
If that's not good enough for you, Hatsworth's steampunk mech-suit special attack alone should be worth the price of admission. (Nintendo DS)
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AVALON CODE: I don't know about you, but nothing says "holiday cheer" for me better than a Zelda-style adventure game about a child tasked with documenting the best parts of his world before the End Times are upon it. The best part? The kid's magic book allows him to hack the source code of his enemies and reduce them to suckitude before he even lifts a blade. Very much in the JRPG vein, so be warned if you're not into that kind of thing. (Nintendo DS)
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PLANTS VS ZOMBIES: I've been calling for action against the Triffid threat for years now. Nobody ever listens, but at least someone has finally decided to harness these botanical menaces and use them for good. Plants vs. Zombies is the inevitable crossbreed between the tower defense and zombie fads. My punnett square shows a 95% chance of awesomeness in the offspring. (PC/Mac/iPhone)
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TORCHLIGHT: "Hey, Diablo II made $Texas. Let's do exactly that and see what happens!"
...okay, they didn't do exactly Diablo II. D2 never allowed me to roll up an Alchemist who dual-wields pistols and shoots magical lasers from his gauntlets while his pet lynx summons hordes of zombies and swarms of floating swords. Point goes to Torchlight. (PC/OSX)
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GYROMANCER: Popcap Games gives Square Enix the Bejeweled Twist engine. Popcap instructs Square Enix to go nuts. Square Enix complies. Gems drop, elements accrue, summons happen, everybody wins. (XBLA, PC)
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GRAND THEFT AUTO: EPISODES FROM LIBERTY CITY: Okay, this one might be borderline cheating on the price front, but since it's two episodes for a hair's breadth beneath $40, I'm counting it (if you don't like it, go write your own gift guide). If it hurts your conscience that much, it for two kids in the same household and let them decide which one gets stuck with The Ballad of Gay Tony.
If you don't know why (or why not, PARENTS OF AMERICA) to buy a pair of GTAIV standalone expansions...well, there's not much I can do for you. Have fun going back to whatever idyllic utopia you've been living in for the last few years. Say hi to the unicorns for me.
----
* Don't even get me started on the whole Microsoft Funbux thing.
** REQUIREMENT THE FIRST: worth playing, REQUIREMENT THE SECOND: cheap
WORLD OF GOO: Technically a late 2008 entry, World of Goo is a physics-heavy building puzzler that looks and acts like it really wants its film rights optioned by Tim Burton. Weird little semi-sentient blobs of jelly want only for freedom, and it's your job to use them to build towers, bridges, and whatever lattice-work structures you can think of to get the poor things from point A to point B. (multiplatform)
----
PUZZLE KINGDOMS: Forget Galactrix - Puzzle Kingdoms is the real sequel to Puzzle Quest. From bigger maps to bigger battles to bigger armies, Puzzle Kingdoms does what Galactrix didn't - it takes the Puzzle Quest formula to the next level without, you know, totally breaking it. (Nintendo DS, Wii)
----
SHADOW COMPLEX: Okay, so Orson Scott Card wrote this speculative fiction novel called Empire about a Presidential assassination and the ensuing civil war between the Glennbeckians and the Pelosese Liberation Front, and...you know what? That part doesn't really matter. Shadow Complex is a modern-day Metroidvania with just a hint of Metal Gear thrown in to spice things up. (XBLA)
----
HENRY HATSWORTH in THE PUZZLING ADVENTURE: Sorry, Professor Layton, but Henry Hatsworth wins 2009's coveted "Best Hackneyed British Stereotype" award. Switch back and forth between a Mario-style platformer and a lightweight block-sliding puzzle at will, with progress in one side affecting advancement in the other.
If that's not good enough for you, Hatsworth's steampunk mech-suit special attack alone should be worth the price of admission. (Nintendo DS)
----
AVALON CODE: I don't know about you, but nothing says "holiday cheer" for me better than a Zelda-style adventure game about a child tasked with documenting the best parts of his world before the End Times are upon it. The best part? The kid's magic book allows him to hack the source code of his enemies and reduce them to suckitude before he even lifts a blade. Very much in the JRPG vein, so be warned if you're not into that kind of thing. (Nintendo DS)
----
PLANTS VS ZOMBIES: I've been calling for action against the Triffid threat for years now. Nobody ever listens, but at least someone has finally decided to harness these botanical menaces and use them for good. Plants vs. Zombies is the inevitable crossbreed between the tower defense and zombie fads. My punnett square shows a 95% chance of awesomeness in the offspring. (PC/Mac/iPhone)
----
TORCHLIGHT: "Hey, Diablo II made $Texas. Let's do exactly that and see what happens!"
...okay, they didn't do exactly Diablo II. D2 never allowed me to roll up an Alchemist who dual-wields pistols and shoots magical lasers from his gauntlets while his pet lynx summons hordes of zombies and swarms of floating swords. Point goes to Torchlight. (PC/OSX)
----
GYROMANCER: Popcap Games gives Square Enix the Bejeweled Twist engine. Popcap instructs Square Enix to go nuts. Square Enix complies. Gems drop, elements accrue, summons happen, everybody wins. (XBLA, PC)
----
GRAND THEFT AUTO: EPISODES FROM LIBERTY CITY: Okay, this one might be borderline cheating on the price front, but since it's two episodes for a hair's breadth beneath $40, I'm counting it (if you don't like it, go write your own gift guide). If it hurts your conscience that much, it for two kids in the same household and let them decide which one gets stuck with The Ballad of Gay Tony.
If you don't know why (or why not, PARENTS OF AMERICA) to buy a pair of GTAIV standalone expansions...well, there's not much I can do for you. Have fun going back to whatever idyllic utopia you've been living in for the last few years. Say hi to the unicorns for me.
----
* Don't even get me started on the whole Microsoft Funbux thing.
** REQUIREMENT THE FIRST: worth playing, REQUIREMENT THE SECOND: cheap
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